Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The blue-eyed 9-going-on-16-year-old-cutie

I call her pants. I think its short for Miss Mikkena pants, or sass-pants, I can't remember anymore. I used to call her pinky, but I have been informed that she is officially out of her pink period. That's right, its time for the top 10 quirky things I love about Mikkena!

10. She is a squirmer. She can't control her little body. She readjusts positions every 30 seconds or so. She claims that it's because she "gets too comfortable". She's also a phone walker. She can't talk on the phone without pacing around the house touching everything. It's a good thing she wasn't born 20 years ago and had to drag a phone cord across the whole house like I did in my phone walking days.

9. She is very fashion conscious. She already has an elaborate list of do's and dont's. She is also beginning to be embarrassed of her parents. I realize that there's plenty to be embarrassed about (I'm speaking about myself, Amber), but she's not quite old enough to figure out what those things are. I showed up to pick her up from school on my scooter. I reached into my pocket to give her her sun glasses. A horrified look spread across her face. "I can't wear those now, Dad!" she whispered to me. Look chick, I picked you up on my scooter wearing my Star Trek outfit, sunglasses are the least of your worries.

8. She is extremely claustrophobic. Occasionally we wrestle, but it always ends in, "I can't breath! I can't breath! I can't Breath! I can't Breath!"

7. She gives the best hugs. She gives the kind of hugs where I need a Tylenol and a masseuse afterwards.

6. She learns songs by singing them, even if she's never heard the song before. Occasionally I'll look in the rear-view mirror and see her singing along to a song with her mouth never quite matching the words. Yet, the next day she's got it down like a pro.

5. She loves holidays. She gets it from her Grandma Sandee (she gets a lot from her Grandma Sandee). Amber doesn't really like any holidays, yet every holiday Mikkena comes out of her room with an outfit perfect for the occasion.

4. She has perfected the art of stalling. She can turn any 9:00 bed time into 9:30 without even breaking a sweat. Most of the time I don't even realize it's happening.

3. She's a blue fish in a red pond. Poor girl. Amber and I are both stubborn, passionate, and bossy. Mikkena just wants to be loved and accepted (with a twinge of bossiness). I don't know how she survives putting up with two parents with the exact opposite personality from her.

2. She is becoming very sure of herself. She states things as facts. Most of the time I just accept what she says, because she is very smart. One day we were looking at a house we had never seen before with a realtor. The house was right across from a school. "I can't remember if that school is 4th and 5th grades or 5th and 6th" stated the realtor. "That school is 4th and 5th grades" Mikkena explained. The realtor nodded, convinced by Mikkena's matter of fact tone. "Have you ever seen this school before?" I asked. "No", she responded, " it just looks like 4th grade to me".

1. She thinks that she is all grown up. She asked me the other day if I would teach her how to drive. Sure seven your mom's car.

Monday, September 15, 2008

She never compromises, loves babies and surprises

This is the first of a two part series. I realized that it's the small quirky things that make me love my ladies so much. This post is devoted to my top ten favorite little quirky things about Amber.

Here we go..........

10. She can flip me off with her feet. It takes a lot of concentration, and I can't always tell right away what she's doing, but when it finally happens it's amazing.

9. She has a thing for nerdy guys. Right after we got married she told me that she was a sucker for both bad-boys and nerds.
Me: "I don't get it, I'm not really a bad-boy".
Amber: "Exactly".
8. She sleeps with one eye open. She denied it for years. Then I managed to get this juicy gem. Enjoy, this photo may cost me my life.

7. She pinches, slaps and kicks when she gets excited. I wear protection when I bring home gifts. A few years ago we were sitting on the couch watching American Idol. Amber yells, "Hey Jared, check this out!" I lazily turn just in time to watch her kick me square in the face. "What was that about!?" I yell at Amber, who was looking just as confused as I was. "I don't know, it worked out differently in my head."
6. Amber is Julianne Moore's younger clone.
5. Amber is a bit of a food snob. She refuses to buy bargain brands, and hates (and she means it) buffets of any kind. Yet she loves cafeteria and hospital food. We have been on several family trips to the BYU cafeteria. Here's the scene, 250 BYU freshmen wishing they were anywhere else, and Amber going for seconds. My head hurts when I think about this conundrum.
4. Amber can't lie. I know the second I've gained some weight, cooked bad food, or have a boogey. There are no secrets in our house. Amber is an open book. I find it refreshing. Who doesn't want to know when they have boogers?
3. Number three is a secret.
2. Amber has a psychic connection with her cats. They come when she calls, and they sleep the whole night curled up by her side. They don't come close to me...............anymore. Last week Amber was eating a tortilla and she decided to tear a piece off for Gretchen. "Don't waste your time," I said, "cats don't eat tortillas". Not two seconds after Amber put the tortilla down it was devoured by a hungry cat. "She wanted it" Amber said calmly, "She told me".

1. Amber does what Amber does. She is the most passionate and head strong person I know, and I love every second I'm with her. There are quite a few songs that remind me of Amber. It seems like rock stars are always falling in love with quirky, free spirits like my Amber. Two of my favorites are Meet Virginia by Train and Mercury by Counting Crows. Tune in next time for the top ten funny little things I love about Mikkena.

Monday, September 8, 2008

There's real nature out there

The family decided to go camping. Even Amber. Because this was Amber's bi-lifetime camping extravaganza, I think it deserves to be fully documented. We ate tinfoil dinners and then we had smores.

After noticing Mikkena's sugar-rushed facial expressions, I decided to limit the smore intake to 15 (at least that's how many I had). Notice how Amber is eating her smore with her pinkie up.

Amber presented a delicious and unique style of smore-making. First she would melt the chocolate and smear it onto the gram cracker, then she would de-skin a roasted marshmallow to avoid contaminating the smore with excessive gooiness, but there is often a price to pay for rogue smore making.


On the way up to the campsite, Amber phoned a friend to let her know where we were going and how long we planned on being gone. Amber told her friend, "If we are not back by dark tomorrow send help, because I am without food and luxuries". I thought to my self, "this is going to be a long trip". I could not have been more wrong. My ladies were troopers. It was much colder than I had expected, and we forgot a ground pad. Yet everyone enjoyed themselves. Amber volunteered to sleep on the ground and let me have the only pad. Also, Mikkena had her first unassisted outdoor pee (I usually build her a rock toilet). Sometimes it's good to be a man.

And as you can see, the cats missed us terribly.