Week in review: ADHD style.

This post is going to be a wild ride. Be prepared to switch subjects frequently, with little or no warning. If you get sick on roller coasters, I recommend logging off now.

You'd think after living with a cat for five years we would know everything there is to know about her. We have long known that she has interests in eating, pooping, and sleeping, but we have recently discovered that she also likes Miles Davis. And by "she also likes Miles Davis" I mean "You don't want to know what she does when I put on Miles Davis". Let's just say that after we listened to a Miles Davis CD last week, there's been weirdness between Tally and Me. I have a hard time looking her in the eye, and I feel uncomfortable when she comes waddling into a room. Tally, why can't you just listen to Bob Marley like our other cat Gretchen?

The moment I have been waiting 15 years for finally arrived. Mikkena told me that she had a project due in school where she had to design a container that would protect an egg from breaking after being thrown off of the roof of the school. This was a chance to redeem myself from the 1993 egg splatter fiasco.

I should have realized something was wrong when Mikkena asked me, "Dad, can I help work on my project?" Of course you can Mikkena, you can hold the camera.

The project required rigorous testing. Finally a pay off for moving to the third floor! Lucky for us all of the neighbor children were faster then a falling box of eggs.

The spikes were designed not only to soften the impact, but to roll the box and spread the impact over a larger surface area (I've been thinking about this for a while). Mikkena told me that after seeing the finished project her classmates all wrote that they expected her project to fail. But.................

Success! Take that 9-year-olds.

Every now and then Amber and I run into something that is so amazing and enriches our lives so much that we can't imagine how we ever lived life with out it. The following is a short list of some of those things.

1. Uncooked tortillas: Until a visit to my Sister-in-law's house on Pioneer Day, I have always purchased pre-cooked tortillas. I never realized that there was a difference. My friends, there is a difference. I have one thing to say to pre-cooked tortillas, you're dead to me.

2. Totos: The people that know what I'm talking about are nodding right now.

3. Big Brother 10: If you have ever sat in a closet for two hours trying to get a better signal from your neighbor's wireless internet just so you can catch the latest internet feed, the show is good. Not that we have ever done that.

Simpler Times

It happened sooner than I expected. I hit the blog wall. I used to be full of ideas. I used to pace myself so that I wouldn't post every day. Now I'm judging every life event as blog-worthy or not. Yeah that birthday party was cool, but was it blog-cool? I decided that I need to just think less and blog more. It's not always the big events that I want to remember, sometimes I want to remember those funny little moments. Like this one.

Who needs TV when you've got this hot plasma? I think this show is called "take me to your leader" expect to see it soon on Fox.

Anyway, I had the day off, but you wouldn't know it from the 12 work calls I received. We decided that it was time to just turn my cell phone off.

Now that we've transported ourselves back to a simpler time, we can enjoy summer fun the way we used to.

By riding lawn mowers (although this is a luxury I never had. I mowed uphill both-ways in the snow with a push-mower).

We also had time to blow dandy-lions.

And look cute while squishing our cats. What are your favorite things to do in the summertime?

It seems like yesterday....

It seems like yesterday. I was supposed to be studying for a final but instead I was looking out the window at a beautiful girl talking on her cell phone. She looked happy. She was laughing and smiling. I wished that she was laughing and smiling about me.

It seems like yesterday that I challenged the cutest girl to the English class debate. I hoped that I would crush her and that she would love me for it. Yes, that's me. I'm the kid that hit all of the girls I had crushes on in elementary school. It sounds dumb, but I think in this case it worked.

It seems like yesterday that I picked you up for our first date. You were playing Bob Marley in your town home. I waited outside your door for a few seconds before I knocked. I had butterflies in my stomach.

It seems like yesterday that we sat on your stairs talking about the future. Suddenly the future made sense. I could picture you and I growing old together. The future seemed less scary and more complete with you in it.

It seems like yesterday that I sat across the alter from you, staring into your eyes. I saw eternity. I saw love. I saw you.

I love you more than you know. Happy fifth anniversary.

Jared

Man-Blogging

Man Bloggers Unite!

That was going to be the title of this entry, but I realized that it was the same as saying, “Sasquatches Unite!” or “Good food at IHOP unite!” I keep hearing that there are other man-bloggers out there but I have never seen one. Recently I came close. Shally sent me a link to a man-blog site,

http://mormonhusbands.blogspot.com/

It may be true, this guy may be legit, but I ask you, why does he need to hide his identity? What is he afraid of, that all his guy friends will find his blog and make fun of him? That would be a dumb conversation.

Guy friend, “Dude, it’s pretty dumb that you blog”.

Closet man-blogger, “Dude, it’s pretty dumb that you read blogs”.

Anyway, I do think it’s time to add some chest hair to my blog.

In all seriousness, man-blogging is a lonely endeavor. It seems like many of the stereotypical man-blog topics would make for boring blog entries. Although I am considering doing future entries on B.O., male-pattern baldness, gridlock traffic, and why working all day makes me exempt from household duties. O.K. I guess I can never stick with the “in all seriousness” thing. Even though many people consider blogging to be neo-scrapbooking, I still like it. It's nice to be able to stay in touch with people you care about, and record events for posterity. Leave me a comment and tell me what you think. What does blogging say about a man?

"Friendly" Competition

A few months ago, Amber and I were looking for ways to cut our monthly expenses. When Comcast decided to raise their rates and refused to compromise, we had our first casualty in name of budgets.........cable television.





"It'll be all right", I reassured Amber not believing a word I was saying. How could it be all right? We suffered through the writer's strike just to ditch cable as soon as the shows started to come back on. I felt like a traitor.





But I was worse than a traitor, I was a bored traitor, a very bored traitor. Amber decided that we could fill the void with games. The first unlikely family hit was the I Spy Go-Fish card game. We have literally played this game hundreds of times.











Each of the cards have their own names. There is the "wack-a-do dog", the "crabby patties", the "Jared" (yellow biker guy), and my favorite the "shwee-shway", (that's how my niece Reagan used to say "school bus"). I employ serious strategy while playing this game. I count cards, study facial expressions, and often attempt intimidation. Mikkena, on the other hand, simply uses her psychic powers. Amber and I often watch in horror while Mikkena blindly obliterates our hands while wrapping gum around her fingers. Now that I know of Mikkena's newly discovered abilities I have added incentive to visit my parents in Las Vegas.

Despite the competition we manage to have a little fun.

The newest game to grace the Hill home is Cranium. This game is not for the faint of heart, be prepared to be pushed out of your comfort zone.

Here are Amber and Grant acting out Mt. Everest. How could I have missed that one?


But with out a doubt our favorite game is Scrabble, and thanks to Stacie and Steve we have the deluxe turntable addition. Now we play Scrabble like the Donald, with our pinkies up.

Here is Cody celebrating his game winning, 60 point, triple-word scored, "fuzzy". If that's not excitement I don't know what is. If anyone is looking for some action give us a call. We might not know what happened in So You Think You Can Dance, but you'll never play a more intense game of Go-Fish.

Letter to my unborn child

This is my first blog entry written specifically for posterity. It is personal, long, and probably a little weird. You are welcome to read it and comment, but I just thought I would give you a fair warning................ Also, this is not an announcement, Amber is not pregnant. At least not yet.

Dear __________,

I know that there will probably be times in your life when you feel insignificant. There may be times that you feel lost or confused. You might even feel that you don’t belong. I want to tell you about how much you are wanted. Your mom and I have hoped and prayed for you to come for years. Your sister asks when you are coming nearly every day. Last month we had dinner with your Grandpa Joel. We talked with him about how we’ve been trying to bring you here for nearly five years. He suggested that we come to his house on Sunday for a priesthood blessing. He instructed us to pray and fast and prepare ourselves for the blessing. In the meantime your mom and I read our patriarchal blessings, and attended the temple. My blessing states that the children born to your mother and me will be a joy to us. It was refreshing to read the things that the Lord has promised, because sometimes I am afraid that we won’t be able to have children.
Last Sunday, your mother, sister, and I fasted and prayed for the spirit to accompany us during our visit with your grandfather. This was the first time Mikkena fasted for a full two meals. It was not easy for her, but she brought with her a strong spirit. When we arrived at your Grandfather’s house, we went to his living room to prepare to bless your mother. I had the privilege of anointing the blessing, while your grandfather acted as the mouthpiece. He pronounced a lucid and powerful blessing which covered almost everything except having children. Just before the end of the blessing he blessed that your mother’s body will be prepared to create a child. At first I felt a little disappointed. We were fasting and praying to have children and your grandfather’s blessing hardly mentioned children. As soon as the blessing was complete he turned to me and asked me if he could give me a blessing. He mentioned that he felt strongly that I was to have a blessing. I sat in the chair and he blessed me. I do not remember very much of what he said during the blessing, but the spirit was strong. It felt right. He blessed me with the ability to have children, and the strength to be a good father.
Your grandfather told us afterwards that he and your grandmother were in a very similar situation to your mother and me. After six years of marriage, your grandmother became distraught over the fact that she had not been able to have children. She ran into the person that sealed your grandparents at the temple. She began to complain about how she had been unable to conceive. He asked her if her father was still alive. She said that he was and that he was coming for a visit the following week. He advised her to get a father’s blessing. She did, and was pregnant with your aunt Stacie only weeks later.
The reason that I have decided to write this down is that I hope that you will understand how many hopes and prayers went into your arrival here with us. I cannot wait to hold you, teach you, and love you. I hope and pray that there is never a moment in your life that you feel unwanted, uncared for, or unloved.

Love,

Your Father