Friday, August 1, 2008

Letter to my unborn child

This is my first blog entry written specifically for posterity. It is personal, long, and probably a little weird. You are welcome to read it and comment, but I just thought I would give you a fair warning................ Also, this is not an announcement, Amber is not pregnant. At least not yet.

Dear __________,

I know that there will probably be times in your life when you feel insignificant. There may be times that you feel lost or confused. You might even feel that you don’t belong. I want to tell you about how much you are wanted. Your mom and I have hoped and prayed for you to come for years. Your sister asks when you are coming nearly every day. Last month we had dinner with your Grandpa Joel. We talked with him about how we’ve been trying to bring you here for nearly five years. He suggested that we come to his house on Sunday for a priesthood blessing. He instructed us to pray and fast and prepare ourselves for the blessing. In the meantime your mom and I read our patriarchal blessings, and attended the temple. My blessing states that the children born to your mother and me will be a joy to us. It was refreshing to read the things that the Lord has promised, because sometimes I am afraid that we won’t be able to have children.
Last Sunday, your mother, sister, and I fasted and prayed for the spirit to accompany us during our visit with your grandfather. This was the first time Mikkena fasted for a full two meals. It was not easy for her, but she brought with her a strong spirit. When we arrived at your Grandfather’s house, we went to his living room to prepare to bless your mother. I had the privilege of anointing the blessing, while your grandfather acted as the mouthpiece. He pronounced a lucid and powerful blessing which covered almost everything except having children. Just before the end of the blessing he blessed that your mother’s body will be prepared to create a child. At first I felt a little disappointed. We were fasting and praying to have children and your grandfather’s blessing hardly mentioned children. As soon as the blessing was complete he turned to me and asked me if he could give me a blessing. He mentioned that he felt strongly that I was to have a blessing. I sat in the chair and he blessed me. I do not remember very much of what he said during the blessing, but the spirit was strong. It felt right. He blessed me with the ability to have children, and the strength to be a good father.
Your grandfather told us afterwards that he and your grandmother were in a very similar situation to your mother and me. After six years of marriage, your grandmother became distraught over the fact that she had not been able to have children. She ran into the person that sealed your grandparents at the temple. She began to complain about how she had been unable to conceive. He asked her if her father was still alive. She said that he was and that he was coming for a visit the following week. He advised her to get a father’s blessing. She did, and was pregnant with your aunt Stacie only weeks later.
The reason that I have decided to write this down is that I hope that you will understand how many hopes and prayers went into your arrival here with us. I cannot wait to hold you, teach you, and love you. I hope and pray that there is never a moment in your life that you feel unwanted, uncared for, or unloved.

Love,

Your Father

3 comments:

Stacie said...

It feels like I am intruding to comment - it is such a personal post. All I'll say is "aaawwwww". Being the product of a father's blessing, I have to say that they work.....

Brittanie said...

I'm in tears. I want this for you and Amber so bad. I can't tell you how many times I've added your names to the temple lists (every time I go), how many times I've prayed that you would be so blessed (every night and other times too). There have been times when I have fasted specifically for you two and your family.

I guess I'm just saying that to let you know that you have more prayers being said in your behalf than you think. I hope it happens soon.

((hugs))

Sherine said...

Ah jared.. what a great letter.